there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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