My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
