you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize