So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
