ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
