Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize