Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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