id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
