I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
