I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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