I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
