Small penises have feelings too.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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