it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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