Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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