He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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