I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
