did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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