Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
