yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
