babies were throwing up all over the place
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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