the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
