I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
