You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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