And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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