I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
