my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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