They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
