I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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