I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
