oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
