Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
jump out the window naked night went bad
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
