when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
