At least make sure they are 18
Why
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
