My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
