I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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