Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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