turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
