You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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