I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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