I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
