And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
