I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
