Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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