I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
And then he peed in my hair
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