You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
