Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
