hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
