i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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