How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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