Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
