But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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