Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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