Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
