He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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