I just made out with a guy for $7.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
