Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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