If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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