Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
zippers are such a cool invention
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
