Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this will be a night to untag.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize