I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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