doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
