You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
