Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
