You really coming over, don't trick.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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